


Lost Cause

by SailorChibi



Series: aro-ace Valentine fics [14]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Identity Reveal, Aromantic, Aromantic Character, Communication, Discussion of Boundaries, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Identity Reveal, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Identity Reveal, Marinette does not have a crush on Adrien, Secret Identity Reveal, adrien agreste gives her one, and that creates its own set of problems really, aromantic Marinette Dupain-Cheng, but she does love Chat very much, no crush AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 16:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17790731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/pseuds/SailorChibi
Summary: Ladybug loves Chat. Chat is in love with Ladybug. On the surface, the conclusion seems obvious.But it's not, and Marinette is terrified of what that means for their future.





	Lost Cause

**Author's Note:**

> As an aro-ace woman, Valentine's can be a little hard on the head. I write these fics to help.
> 
> Someone who is aromantic does not develop romantic attraction towards anyone, though they can still be in a relationship.

The rose was beautiful, a deep red in the middle that faded to a red so light it looked pink on the edges. She had no idea where he’d gotten it from, but she thought that it must have been expensive because you didn’t see roses like that every day. Marinette touched a petal, feeling the silkiness of it. Her mouth watered, but she refused to eat the petals of something so lovely.

“This is so hard, Tikki,” she said sadly. “Why can’t I be what Chat wants me to be?”

Tikki sighed. “You should just talk to him, Marinette. Chat might understand better than you think.”

“Oh, please. What kind of conversation would that be? ‘Hey Chat, I can’t fall in love with you like you want me to. But I’d be down for having sex and maybe being roommates someday’. Yeah, that’s what _every_ guy in the world wants to hear.” Marinette flopped down onto her chaise, putting her hands over her face and groaning.

A light weight landed on her chest, and she peeked through her fingers to see Tikki’s sympathetic face. Sexuality was, Marinette knew, something relatively new for her kwami. This was the first time Tikki had been linked to a Chosen in a couple hundred years; last time there had been a Ladybug, people were still being sent to jail or worse for being gay, nevermind something as out of the box as being aromantic.

“I think Chat would like to hear that very much,” Tikki told her. “Platonic love doesn’t somehow matter less than romantic love. Chat Noir loves you. He would be thrilled to hear that you love him back.”

“But not the way he wants me to,” Marinette countered, wrapping her arms around herself. Tikki was doing her best, but she had already flat-out said that she didn’t understand what the problem was. To a kwami, love was love. What did it matter what form it came in? 

“Shouldn’t that be a decision for Chat to make?” Tikki countered.

“It could ruin our partnership!”

“You’re insulting your partnership, and by extension yourself and Chat, by thinking that what you have could be so easily dissolved,” Tikki said, sounding disappointed. “Keeping the truth from him, letting him think that someday he can woo you into returning his affections when you already do in the way that you can, is what will hurt you more than anything.”

Tikki’s disappointment stung. Marinette bit her lip, turning her head to look again at the rose. It really was the most beautiful gift she’d ever received. It was just too bad that she’d felt terrifically guilty about taking it. She’d barely been able to choke out a thank you before she’d fled, leaving a no doubt bewildered Chat behind her. He probably thought she hated him, which was about as far from the truth as you could get.

She wasn’t _in_ love with him, because her brain didn’t work that way, but she _did_ love him. She loved him so much that his absence sometimes left her feeling like one of her appendages had been cut off, but it would never be anything other than that. Could that be enough? What that enough? Marinette didn’t know. She wasn’t sure she was ready to find out.

“I don’t want to hurt him,” Marinette whispered miserably.

“But by not saying anything, you _are_ hurting him. You two need to talk and clear the air. Get everyone on the same page. At least then you’ll know.”

“Ugh, why do you have to be so sensible?” Marinette said.

Tikki grinned. “When you get to be my age, you come to realize a thing or two.” She flew up and closer to Marinette’s face, dropping a little kiss onto Marinette’s nose. “It will be fine, Marinette. I promise. Just talk to Chat. One way or the other, this conversation has to happen sooner or later. Why torture the both of you needlessly?”

“Because then I get to pretend that he’ll be okay with it, and that I won’t have to watch him move on and start dating other girls. Then he’s going to get married, and he’ll start having kids… and oh my god, he won’t have any time for me then! I’ll be a Ladybug without her Chat Noir!” Marinette covered her face again, moaning.

“Marinette! Seriously? Chat would never do that! Even _if_ he did start dating other girls, you would always be a priority in his life. You _know_ that!”

“I know,” Marinette said meekly. But knowing something and _knowing_ something were two very different things, and it was hard to convince the illogical parts of her brain that Tikki was right.

“Talk to Chat,” Tikki repeated. “Promise me that you will next time you see him.”

“Fine,” Marinette mumbled. “We have patrol together tomorrow night.” She draped her arm over her eyes and tried not to cringe. Tomorrow night by time time, she might have lost the best friend she’s ever had. 

She didn’t sleep well that night, tossing and turning as she tried to figure out how their conversation should go. It was well after 4am before she fell asleep, which meant she woke up late and had to scramble to get ready for school. Marinette flat-out ran, forgoing breakfast, and was still twenty minutes late. Ms. Bustier was clearly not happy, but at least she didn’t hand out a detention. Small blessings.

In the interest of looking like she was paying attention, Marinette propped her books up and stared at the board. But her brain was a million miles away. Not even her persistently growling stomach could stop her from hoping that the bell wouldn’t ring. It was probably the first time ever that she hoped a school day would last forever. Naturally, that meant the morning sped by.

“Girl, what is up with you? You look like death warmed over,” Alya said as soon as the lunch bell rang.

“Thanks Alya. You always know what I want to hear,” Marinette said sarcastically.

“Yikes, tou-chy,” Alya said, holding both hands up.

Nino and Adrien both turned around at that, and Nino said, “Seriously, Mari, are you sick?”

“No. Not really,” Marinette said, sighing and straightening up. “I just didn’t sleep well last night, that’s all.”

“Nightmares?” Adrien asked. He looked so genuinely concerned that Marinette mustered a smile.

“Something like that,” she said. “I didn’t have time to grab lunch this morning. Anyone want to go grab something at the café?”

“I will,” Adrien said.

“Nino and I have plans,” Alya said immediately, kicking Nino when he looked like he wanted to protest. Then she shot Marinette an excited grin. Marinette had to fight back the urge to roll her eyes.

Adrien was cute. He really was. Marinette would forever regret telling Alya exactly how much she wanted to jump the boy, because now Alya was convinced that Marinette had a crush on him. No amount of telling Alya otherwise was enough to dissuade her. Now she kept trying to set Marinette and Adrien up on these little dates, and it was getting kind of awkward.

“Great, let’s go,” she said to Adrien. “I’m starving.”

It wasn’t actually true, but she wanted to get out of the classroom and away from Alya’s and Nino’s knowing looks. When they got to the café, Marinette just sat and picked listlessly at her sandwich. She didn’t even realize that she was being kind of rude until something white fell onto her plate. She started, staring at it, then looked up to find that Adrien was preparing to flick another piece of his straw wrapper at her.

“Earth to Mari,” he said, grinning.

“Oh god, Adrien, I’m sorry,” Marinette said, blushing. “I didn’t mean to ignore you.”

“It’s okay. You look like you were thinking hard. Is something wrong?” He looked across the table at her, so sweet and earnest that the words spilled out before Marinette could stop herself.

“There’s this guy,” she began.

“A guy!” Adrien said, wiggling his eyebrows. “Tell me more.” 

“He’s a really sweet guy. Honestly, the best guy I’ve ever known. I really love him,” Marinette said, and to her horror she felt her eyes fill with tears.

Adrien looked alarmed. “Mari? Does he… not like you back or something?” He handed her a napkin.

“Actually, it’s just the opposite. I think he does love me,” Marinette whispered.

“I’m… okay, I think I’m missing something?”

Marinette met his gaze and considered for a long moment. This was something she hadn’t told anyone other than Tikki. Yet she wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about it with Alya or her parents yet. She didn’t know Adrien super well, but she would call them friends. And he was here, asking her what was wrong, and watching her with obvious concern. She swallowed hard.

“Adrien, if I told you something about me, would you keep it a secret?”

“Of course,” Adrien said. “You have my word.”

Marinette nodded and dabbed at her eyes, then tried to smile. “I’m aromantic. Basically, it means that I don’t feel romantically attracted to people. I don’t get crushes. I don’t fall in love.”

“Okay,” Adrien said slowly.

“And this guy, he – he _loves_ me. He’s _in_ love with me. I can’t give him that.” Marinette’s voice broke, and more tears ran down her face. “Ti – uh, this friend of mine told me that I should be honest with him, but I’m scared. I can’t bear the thought of losing him, Adrien. He’s – he’s my other half. He’s everything to me. I don’t know what I would do without him. And I’m so, so scared that I’m gonna break his heart and he’ll leave me.”

“Oh, Marinette.” Adrien scooted to the edge of the booth. For a horrifying moment she thought he was leaving, but then he sat down beside her and pulled her into a hug. 

It took all of her strength not to break down sobbing in Adrien’s arms. Marinette held herself together by sheer strength of will, though she couldn’t stop herself from leaning into the hug. She took several sips of her water to soothe her aching throat and wiped at her eyes until the napkin started to turn black from her mascara. She was certain she looked like a raccoon, but when she glanced at Adrien he smiled at her.

“I’m sorry,” Marinette said, flushing.

“Don’t apologize. It’s fine,” Adrien said. “Marinette, listen. If this guy really loves you the way he says he does, you being aromantic won’t matter to him.”

Marinette sighed. “Adrien, that’s sweet, but –”

“No, I mean it. And if he’s half the decent guy you seem to think he is, he won’t leave you even if your relationship doesn’t work out the way he wants it to,” Adrien told her. 

“It’s not that easy,” Marinette whispered. There could never be another Chat Noir to her Ladybug. 

“I know. Nothing is ever that easy,” Adrien said, sighing. “I wish I could give you better advice, but I think your friend is right. You need to talk to him. This is tearing you apart, this guy wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up like that.”

Much as she hated to admit, she knew that Tikki and Adrien were both right. She couldn’t go on like this. “I’ll be seeing him tonight. I’ll talk to him then.”

Adrien smiled at her. “Good. You’ll have to let me know how it goes tomorrow.”

“I will. And Adrien… thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” he said.

“You listened to me, and you didn’t try to tell me that I must be in love with him and not know it,” Marinette replied. That was one of the reasons she hadn’t talked to Alya yet. Alya always meant well, but sometimes she didn’t respond well to things she didn’t understand. Her insistence that Marinette had a crush on Adrien was proof of that.

“I’m always here if you want to talk,” Adrien said, giving her a quick squeeze on the arm. For a few seconds, Marinette let herself stare at his kind face and wished that she were in love with him instead. Life would be so much easier that way.

“We better get back to school,” she said, rather than letting herself fall down that rabbit hole. “Oh – do I look awful?” She touched a hand to her face.

“You might want to run to the bathroom,” Adrien said diplomatically, which was a yes.

Her make-up was a lost cause. Marinette scrubbed off what she could and then they walked back to school together. She was still dreading tonight, but her chat with Adrien had helped to ease the looming sense of panic. If nothing else, Marinette thought as she returned home, she would be able to face the conversation with Chat without freaking out too much.

Night fell, and with it a chill descended on the city. She shivered as she eased her window open and slid out. On any other night she would’ve brought tea or hot chocolate and cookies; tonight, she transformed and made her way empty-handed across the rooftops to where she and Chat typically began and ended their patrols. He was already there, sitting on the roof and looking up at the sky.

“Good evening, My Lady,” he said. “How are you?”

“Cold,” Ladybug said, which was par for the course this time of year. It was tempting to move in close and curl up against him – he would let her, she knew – but instead she dropped to the roof, leaving a few feet between them.

“I’d say summer is officially over,” Chat agreed. “Shall we –”

“We need to talk,” Ladybug blurted out.

“Um… okay,” Chat said slowly, eyebrows furrowing.

Ladybug clenched her hands in her lap. “I’ve been thinking about how best to say this for a while now, but I don’t really know – I don’t want to hurt your feelings, Chat.” 

He stiffened. “Just say it. Whatever you need to say.”

Oh god. He sounded upset already. She tightened her fists until her nails dug into her palms and said quietly, “I care a lot about you, _Chaton_. You’re everything to me. When I think about the future, I see us together. And I want that, I do. I want – I want to know who you are someday. I want to fall asleep beside you at night. I want to watch you watch anime so that I can see you smile. I want to yell at your dumb father because he can’t see how amazing you are.”

“Ladybug?” He sounded confused.

“But I’m not _in love_ with you,” Ladybug said in a rush. Unable to sit still, she stood and walked to the edge of the roof to look out at the so-called city of love. “I… I’m aromantic. I’ll never be in love with you. I don’t even like the idea of a ton of romance. Romance movies creep me out.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I want us to be more like roommates who have sex and no sense of personal space. But I know that’s not what you want.”

There was silence behind her, one so deep and profound that she couldn’t bear the thought of turning around to see his face. 

“And I’m sorry for that,” she added, trying not to cry. “I’m so sorry. If I could change the way that I am, I would. But –”

“Bugaboo, stop.” Chat had gotten up and moved closer while she was talking. Now, he slipped around in front of her. She bowed her head, but he caught her chin and pulled her head back up so that they were looking at each other. There was something wondering in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered again, her eyes filling with tears.

Chat shook his head slowly. “I had lunch today with this really nice girl in my class.”

Ladybug blinked. “Okay?”

“She was really upset,” he said, looking into her eyes. “She told me that there was this guy who was in love with her, but that she didn’t think things would work out because she was aromantic.”

She froze. That was… that was too much of a coincidence. “A-Adrien?”

“Marinette,” Chat said, a big smile crossing his face. He looked like he was glowing. “I do love you. I really, honestly love you.”

“Chat – ”

He laid a claw over her lips. “Shhh. Let me speak, okay? Everything you just said, I want it. I want to live with you. I want to make you watch anime and like it.” He grinned. “I want you to teach me how to bake. I want to fall asleep with you, and know that none of my nightmares are real because you’re there when I wake up.”

“But I’m not in love with you,” Ladybug said, struggling to wrap her mind around this. Adrien was Chat. Chat Noir, her goofy, passionate kitty, was the sweet, kind guy who’d taken an upset classmate out to lunch.

“Ladybug… Marinette. Do you love me?”

“Of course,” Ladybug said. “But –”

“Ah ah,” Chat said, cutting her off. “Bug… that’s literally all I’ve ever wanted or needed. You _love_ me.” He said those words with such reverence, his hands shaking where they touched her, and in that moment Ladybug hated Gabriel Agreste more than she’d ever hated anyone. 

“I do,” Ladybug admitted. “I love you.” She studied his face, mentally removing the mask and sweeping back his hair, and realized that she could see it. Neither his eyes nor his hair changed color. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t seen it before.

“I love you too,” Chat breathed, leaning forward to touch their foreheads together. “I, uh, I read up a little bit about being aromantic, but I don’t know – can I kiss you? Are you okay with that?”

She smiled tentatively, hardly able to believe this was happening. “Yes.”

And he did, gently pressing their lips together. Ladybug wrapped her arms around his neck when they parted and just hugged him, trying to cope with everything that had happened in the past five minutes. It felt like her whole world had been upended. She wondered suddenly if Tikki knew who Chat was, and that was why her kwami had been so sure things would be okay.

“You’re really okay with this?” Ladybug asked, pulling back slightly. “I mean – our relationship won’t be traditional.”

Chat shrugged. “I don’t even know what a traditional relationship is,” he admitted. “Nothing has to change from the way we work now. I’m fully willing to compromise on some things so long as you are too.”

Ladybug nodded. “Do you think you could cut down on the flirting when we’re around people?” she asked. “It makes me uncomfortable.

“Sure,” he said easily. “But… I really like calling you My Lady. And Princess.” They both smiled at that. “Is that okay?”

“I like the nicknames too, _mon minou_ ,” Ladybug said. “I don’t even mind when you kiss my hand. But that’s about as romantic as I get.”

He grinned, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Does that mean you don’t want me to bring you flowers anymore?” he asked innocently. “Shame, I just got my hands on a bunch of late season chrysanthemums that were left over from a photoshoot. I was going to bring them to you as a snack, but if you don’t want them – ”

It was actually embarrassing how fast her mouth filled with saliva. Real ladybugs typically only ate bugs like aphids, but Marinette had made the mistake of tasting a flower petal one day and never looked back. They were delicious, sweet and light like summer itself, and she craved them even more as winter grew closer. Chat took one look at her face and burst into laughter.

“Mean,” Ladybug said, punching him in the shoulder with one hand while surreptitiously wiping her mouth with the other. “Those are the kinds of flowers I’m happy to accept!”

He kept laughing even while he dodged her blows. “I’m just clarifying your boundaries, that’s all,” he teased. “There’s a couple baskets in my room, if you want to come over.”

Ladybug paused at that, realizing that they could do that now. She knew who Chat was, and he knew who she was. They loved each other. She looked at his smiling face, his beautiful green eyes, and thought to herself that the old adage about ladybugs being lucky _had_ to be true. 

“Okay,” she said softly. “I’d like that. Lead on, _Chaton_.” She held a hand out to him.

“Right this way, My Lady,” he said, taking her hand and pulling her close. He took out his baton, and she took out her yoyo, and they jumped off the roof together.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://tsuki-chibi.tumblr.com/).


End file.
